Why you might subconsciously sabotage your writing – and what to do about it.

Posted by in Publishing, Writing

I have found in working with writers over many, many years, that underneath perfectionism and procrastination over why their manuscripts were never finished, is a deep subconscious fear. It is the fear of being rejected by other writers, or a circle of friends, who aren’t succeeding.

This might sound laughable at first, but there’s a deep reason for it. It turns out that in order to survive as a species, humans have had to rely on the larger group. We literally have it bred into our bones to fit in and get along. Finishing your book, having it published, and maybe even having it sell well, could be challenging for some of your friends.

I find that it’s most helpful to bring these deep fears up to the surface and become aware of them. Then it’s possible to make a clear decision. You may decide that moving on is the most important thing, even if you do lose some friends. Or you may realize that your friends will be there for you and sharing in your success. Or you may decide that you just aren’t ready yet to lose anyone, so you put the brakes on moving forward with publication. (This is often true for writers of difficult memoirs.) But whatever you choose, let it be your own choice, and not a reaction.